Skoofies and Other Misadventures
by Ginkumo
Summary: When doing normal, every-day things with Sora, they no longer become normal and every-day. Collection of funny and cute one-shots. Soriku, some Cleon and AkuRoku. Rated T for spicy language.
1. Candy

**A/N: Whatever madness follows is another joint fic with my lovely spanksizzle27, we don't know what's wrong with us either. We present you with a collection of one-shots based on the prompt "Sora and Riku go..." Obviously the main pairing is Soriku with some Cleon and AkuRoku for some flair. Enjoy and if anyone has any ideas/suggestions review or send us a PM. **

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**Sora and Riku Go: Buy Some candy.**

_30.) "Elements with _ first ionization energies _ electron affinities generally form cations."_

Riku skimmed through the proceeding four choices and sighed. Chem sucked. Hardcore. But he wasn't about to let Sora know that what he really wanted to do now involved nothing but a couch and some peace and quiet, nope. It was vital to Sora's academic career that Riku made sure he studied for these exams. Which meant he had to put his own game face on and study too.

"Riku… I need you."

From across the table Riku laid his pencil down and mustered all the patience he could. There really wasn't that much left.

"What now?"

"What…."

"Stop adding dramatic pauses after the first word of every sentence or I swear to God…"

"… rhymes with penguin?"

Riku drew in a long breath and through pursed lips answered, "Nothing."

"What?" was Sora's desperate reply.

"Pick a new word to rhyme with."

"But… penguin is such a vital word to this poem. I mean, the whole thing will literally fall apart without it. There has to be something."

With pencil in hand, Riku went back to question #30.

_A) high, positive or slightly negative_

"Riku?"

Riku answered with method #49 of how to deal with an annoying Sora: blatantly pretending to be deaf. Success rate, 1% and only because an ice cream truck happened to distract him.

"Rikuuuu?" A little more forceful.

Contemplating method #70: pretending to get a phone call which ends in the need to save some children from a burning building (success rate 0% because Sora would always end up believing there was a real emergency), Riku kept his eyes trained on his chemistry practice.

Sora fidgeted with his pencil. He wasn't known for making the best choices and keeping steady with his track record, flung the pencil at the top of Riku's head.

"Sora… you literally have 3 seconds to pick that up and finish your damn poem before I leap across this table and tie you down, forcing you to watch educational videos…again."

"No, god, no okay I'm sorry, I'll be good."

What was to become a record for Sora, he worked for five straight minutes without saying a word, hitting or throwing something, or scribbling all over his paper.

Then, "Can I get your opinion on this masterpiece I just wrote?"

Riku was secretly thankful because he was tired of skipping questions. Chem is fucking hard. Just saying. Seriously. Don't take it. Ever.

Sora ahem-ed.

"_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Flowers are pretty,_

_And so are you._

_I really like your hair,_

_It smells kinda nice,_

_It looks very clean,_

_You've never had lice._

_Sometimes you're mean,_

_But that's okay,_

_I know you love me,_

_Despite what you say,_

"Sora, besides using the word "lice" that's actually moderately acceptable as poet-"

_Your pants hang low,_

_You think you're a G,_

_We all know you're not,_

_But whatever makes you happy._

"Okay now I'm offended…"

"They really do sometimes, I mean, I memorized every brand of boxers you own. Sorry but that was all I could do with just this much energy."

"There's trail mix in the kitchen if you need a snack."

Sora quirked an eyebrow. "Really? Does your mom make you eat that?"

"It's healthy brain food, which is obviously what you need right now, Sor'"

"Riku you don't understand, I need sugar."

Riku knew never to violate rule #1: Do not, under any circumstances, voluntarily allow Sora to consume sugar.

"No Sor', you're kinda failing your English class right now so the last thing you need is a sugar rush."

Sora pouted. "Rikuuuu, come on, there's a convenience store right down the street and I'm pretty sure you aren't making any progress with whatever you're studying."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"You haven't flipped to a new page in the last half hour." Sora stood, glided to stand over Riku's shoulder, and examined the array of papers.

"What's a cation?" Sora pronounced it ca-shun.

Riku facepalmed. "Sora, it's pronounced cat-eye-on."

Sora giggled. "Riku, you hate cats."

Something inside Riku kind of shattered and he knew there was absolutely no way in hell either of them was going to make any progress.

Short of knocking Sora on his ass, Riku stood up begrudgingly. "Fine, let's just go get your damn candy, but only if you promise to come back and finish your work."

Sora bounced to the door and waited impatiently while Riku tidied the table, stacking papers and re-arranging pencils.

"Remember Riku, 'no shirt, no shoes, no service'."

Riku's what-the-fuck-look was practically begging Sora to explain himself.

"What are you talking about?"

Sora pointed, "Put yo shoes on foo'".

"Sora, you're no longer allowed to watch the A Team. Now get out before I question my sanity."

The store was empty, most likely due to the fact that it was a lazy Sunday afternoon and it was finals week. Everyone with a brain was inside studying. Except for those who associated with Sora. They were doomed.

Riku prodded Sora. "You can have one pack of candy and that's it."

"Okay but you have to help me pick."

Riku sighed. At least he agreed.

With that Sora raced off towards the candy aisle hand firmly wrapped around the other's wrist.

"Riku, Riku, Riku, Riku how in the world am I supposed to choose just one?" Sora complained as he gazed over the surprising large selection of candy in the tiny convenience store. The elder sighed.

"Sora it's really not all that difficult. Just grab a Reeses cup or something. You like those right?" The brunette's eyes lit up as he reached for the candy before stopping dead, hand a centimeter from the bright orange package.

"No Riku, no. I know your evil scheme!" He threw a glare in the other's direction "You know I'll eat these super fast and there's only two in a pack and then it'll be gone and you don't want me to have a large sugar intake and-" Riku slapped his hand over the boy's mouth to get him to shut it. Honestly he hadn't been thinking like that, he just wanted to go back to studying in order to save the younger's grade, and since when did Sora know how to use the word intake correctly?

As Riku was pondering these things he didn't realize that Sora had started to lick at his hand and was about to bite him.

"Ow!" He released the piranha of a boy before examining his hand. "Seriously Sora? I think you're a little crazed. Can we please just get your candy and go?" Sora smiled before turning back to the shelves while Riku stared at the red bite mark on his hand. He had forgotten the ever important Rule #2: If Sora should be able to attain sugar, do not under any circumstance tell him what kinds he should and should not consume. He's a biter.

A handful of seconds later Sora's arms were full of various candies and a look of pure concentration overtook his face.

Riku merely watched as God knows what kind of thought process ran through Sora's mind.

"Okay… I'm going with these." Sora clutched a box of Skittles close to his chest and put the other choices back.

Riku wasn't really sure what type of ultimatum just happened but whatever, they'd successfully picked something out, he kinda actually like Skittles so he could steal some later, and they were heading for the checkout within a decent amount of time.

The clerk flashed the two a bright smile as Sora pushed his beloved box of rainbows towards her.

Sora turned to Riku and was about to say something about how whoever invented Skittles could possibly know what a rainbow tastes like when something caught his eye.

"Oh my God Riku."

Riku looked where the brunette was looking and almost laughed out loud. Almost.

"Skoofies? Are those… could they be….Would someone really…"

"Sora, those are off-brand Skittles okay, I promise."

"I don't think so…" he leaned in towards Riku, and in a breathy whisper said, "I think they're Skittle flavored roofies."

Riku almost lost it. Almost.

The clerk's smile had since been replaced with a look of confusion, annoyance, and impatience as she'd been holding out Sora's receipt for at least thirty seconds.

Riku grabbed it and led Sora out of the store by his arm.

"I'm going to ignore the thought that you've somehow learned about roofies," Riku said while trying his best not to laugh. There was no way he was letting Sora make him laugh because that always led to distractions. Rule #5: Never let Sora make you laugh if you have important things to do. They won't get done because once he starts he'll never stop. You're stomach muscles will be aching for a while. Seriously.

Sora gave him an innocent look while they crossed the street. "Axel was telling me about them once when he and Roxas-"

Riku tugged his arm, pulled Sora into a warm hug and playfully smacked him on the head. "How many times have I told you to never talk to Axel without a responsible adult around?"

Sora thought about it. "At least ten times."

Rule #8: Never ask Sora a rhetorical question involving numbers.

They sat down at Riku's kitchen table for the second time, Sora armed with Skittles and pencil. "Okay inner poet, here we go."

Riku chuckled.

There were days he really just loved Sora without knowing why.

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**Hell yeah we wrote that crappy poem on our own.**


	2. Wedding

**A/N: So okay I honestly can't really explain about 75 percent of this one, it's just too special. We feel like these one-shots are going to be more like, "how to make Riku's life suck as much as possible while still remaining cute and innocent" but we'll see how it goes. Anyway, enjoy Cloud and Leon's extreme OOC-ness, and tons of Sora crackiness. **

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**Sora and Riku Go: To a Wedding**

"Cloud, just calm down and focus on how wonderful this day is going to be for you. As your man of honor I have everything under control and ready to go." Riku rambled as he adjusted Cloud's white suit jacket.

"I don't know Riku, I'm still just a bit nervous." Cloud said as he pushed Riku's hands away and walked over to the mirror. "What if Leon doesn't really want to go through with this? What if everything goes wrong? What if the flower arrangements are ugly? Where the hell is Sora?" Riku grabbed Cloud's cheeks between his hands to calm him down.

"Cloud. Leon is so in love with you that he can't see straight". About the flowers, I placed them myself this morning, they're beautiful. And don't you worry about Sora he's safe with your husband-to-be alright?"

"Actually I'm right here." Riku and Cloud both whipped their heads towards the door to see the aforementioned boy in his suit eating a chocolate ice cream cone. Riku's eyes widened. Sora was not supposed to be here. He was supposed to be attending to Leon, _the groom_, not eating ice cream.

"Sora!" Riku shrieked as he let go of the bride's face and stomped over to his ever troublesome boyfriend. "What in the hell do you think you're doing away from Leon's side? And I am not even going to bother asking where you got that ice cream. Throw it away. Now." Sora pouted and looked pitifully at his chocolate cone.

"Whyyy?" He whined. But Riku would not be overcome by the puppy eyes. No he would not. That would be breaking rule #6: Do not ever fall for the puppy dog eyes.

"You'll get it all over you." Sora was about to protest when a drop of ice cream fell from his cone. Riku thought time had gone in slow motion as he stared in horror at the drop falling onto Sora's pristine white dress shirt. Sora just smiled sheepishly as Riku threw his hands up in frustration. "See? Come on, we'll get it cleaned off in the bathroom." Riku turned to Cloud who nodded before grabbing- more like assaulting- Sora's wrist and dragging him off.

"Where the hell is Leon anyway?" Riku asked as he started furiously wiping at the other's shirt with a damp paper towel.

"He's wondering around the venue. He's all ready to go and way too excited to just sit in the room and wait for the ceremony to start." Soar answered simply while starting to play with his hair in the mirror.

"Will you stop moving? I almost have it out." Sora ignored him and kept pulling at one of his spikes.

"Do you think my hair is okay?" Riku huffed as he finished up.

"It's fine, not like we used five cans of hairspray and three hours in the bathroom for nothing. Now come on I don't want to leave Cloud for too long." He waltzed out of the bathroom and down the hall to Cloud's room.

As soon as he opened the door he stopped dead.

"SORA!" He roared on the verge of pulling his hair out. The brunette popped his head in the room with a lollipop in his mouth.

"Yeah?" He asked oblivious.

"CLOUD IS GONE! This is terrible. Oh my God Sora. Where the hell could he have disappeared off to? Leon is going to strangle me. Sora this was supposed to be perfect. I can't be-" Sora just stared as Riku rambled on trying not to laugh. Seeing cold, calm, collected Riku freak out was amusing. And his grape sucker was delicious. "-and where in God's name do you keep getting all of these foodstuffs?" Riku shouted as he made his way over to the brunette who was busy staring into the mirror that Cloud was supposed to be looking in.

"Are you even listening to me right now?" He asked in a low voice as he slapped a hand over his face.

"Are you sure my hair looks okay? Do you think I should get highlights?" Sora completely ignoring the current crisis and pulling at his fringe.

"A-are you kidding me right now? I swear to God, Sora. Just come on we need to find Cloud. _Now_."

Sora tugged on a particularly long piece of hair and huffed.

"Fine, but only if you promise we can get our haircut that you've been promising to do with me," Sora turned and followed Riku out the door and down the hall, "You can't really tell me that it's possible to see anything through those bangs anyway."

Riku sort of growled and pushed through the throng of people crowding the area, desperately hoping Cloud would pop out of nowhere and all would be well again.

Sora contributed to the search by alternating between eating his grape sucker and looking for anything blonde.

"Found him!"

Riku looked where Sora was pointing and was _almost _about to congratulate him on a surprising job well done. _Almost._

"Sora… that's Cid, he's not even wearing the same color as Cloud, now kindly don't speak and put more effort into looking."

The sucker went back into Sora's mouth as he let Riku tug him to the end of the hall and upstairs.

"I am not going to let this wedding fall apart because I lost the bride…groom…whatever."

Sora prodded Riku. "We haven't checked Leon's room."

"He promised me he could wait to see Leon until walking down the aisle, he better not be in there."

Sora chuckled, "Come on 'Ku, if you were super duper nervous about something and needed to be comforted, who would you look for?"

"Yeah, you're right, Leon is pretty comforting."

Sora pouted. He liked to think that _he _was pretty good at comforting Riku sometimes…when he wasn't the one who created the need for the comfort… whatever.

The two marched to Leon's room and before Riku could burst through the door, Sora caught his arm and held a finger up to his lips.

"Listen," he giggled.

"And I promise, I have everything you said you needed for tonight, okay?" Leon's voice was clear through the crack that Sora and Riku had their ears closely pressed against.

"Even the cream and chocolate?" Cloud's voice was more like a whimper compared to Leon's.

"That, plus I picked up some sprinkles and cherries."

"And the special spoons?"

Leon laughed, "It wouldn't be right without them."

Riku's eyes widened and he had to slap a hand over Sora's mouth to keep him from giggling any louder than he already was. Honestly, Sora could be so immature sometimes. Rule #38: Sora would never ever fail to laugh at anything sexually suggestive. Just try using the number 69 for anything.

"And I made sure that we have plenty of tissues for the clean-up," Leon said.

Through the shuffling of fabric Cloud answered, "It won't be that bad this time I swear!"

Sora couldn't take it anymore and he fell to the floor, holding his mouth and stomach while trying his hardest not to give themselves up.

That was pretty much the last straw for Riku. Between his first wedding falling apart and Sora now personally collecting all of the dirt off of the floor with his rental tux, he was sort of close to exploding.

He knocked and walked in without waiting for an answer.

Riku stood, staring at how adorable yet completely, utterly, and irrevocably _gay _Cloud looked on top of Leon's lap while he primped Cloud's now-frazzled hair.

Sora poked his head into the room. "Hey Leon, Riku's pissed. Tell him to calm his tits, okay."

Cloud stood up and continued to fidget with his hair while Leon tried not to laugh at how desperate Riku looked.

"Don't worry about anything anymore Riku, you got us this far, we're fine with how the rest of the day goes, right Cloud?"

Cloud turned and smiled, "Of course, thanks Riku for everything you've done for us, you can relax."

Riku took a moment to pretend that he didn't want to strangle 75% of the room's occupants, and it helped. He felt his muscles relax, his headache start to subside, and his anger wane. It wasn't really a big deal if the bride…grooms…whatever, were half an hour late to their own ceremony, of course not.

Sora sidled close to Leon and leaned close to his ear. "Leon," he whispered, "Can I have a special spoon?"

"Sure," he laughed, "What color would you like? I'm pretty sure Cloud's claimed the blue ones already but I'm sure he'd be willing to share some."

Riku's ears perked at their conversation. Sora wouldn't really be asking about what they heard earlier, right?

"Cloud, can I have one of your blue special spoons?"

Riku choked. "Sora! I can't believe you-"

With a puzzled look, Cloud walked over to massage Riku's tense shoulders. Cloud was really good at shoulder massages. Really really good.

"Sure Sora, you and Riku can even join us tonight if you'd like. We have plenty of spoons." Cloud smiled.

Riku was pretty sure he was close to his first nervous breakdown and he merely looked pleadingly at Leon.

"Please tell me that a 'special spoon' isn't what I think it is?" Riku begged.

Cloud looked scandalized, Leon couldn't help but laugh out loud, and Sora… he was busy with a cupcake that had come from God knows where. Riku was done figuring out where all this food was appearing from.

"If you're thinking of something other than using them to eat awesomely huge ice cream sundaes with while watching A Walk to Remember then no Riku," Leon patted him on the head, "nothing like that."

Riku breathed a sigh of relief and sagged under Cloud's grip. "Can we just go downstairs and get you two married before I quit at being alive?"

Leon led his wife-husband-whatever-to-be through the door and down the hall, while Sora and Riku followed behind.

Sora poked Riku's shoulder. "Hey, can we have cupcakes at our wedding too?"

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**A/N#2: Now we're just hungry...**


End file.
